Together Milan and Kay have developed a method of couples therapy called Attachment Core Pattern Therapy. These early experiences leave a lasting imprint on our souls that is still observable in our adult relationships. I think people having troubles in their marriage will appreciate this read, but for me, it just didn't work. Previously the workbook was in the Back of How We Love. I consider it essential reading personally and also for th ok as of us who are called to help people professionally.
How We Love helps us see ourselves more clearly and understand our roles in the impasses of our relationships. While many songs are about the blissful beginnings or the sorrowful endings of relationships, not many songs are written about the hard work of change or the rewards of persevering through relational challenges. Then it got into nitty gritty marriage stuff. Everyone needs to be able to cry and be held like a baby by their partner while they cry in order to be intimate and have a strong marriage. Maybe, like us, you find yourself locked in the same tiring dance over and over. However, I finished the book with many practical ways to increase my emotional connection to my husband as well as how to create healthy emotional patterns in our four boys. An ordained pastor with a master's degree in biblical studies, he has been helping couples and families build healthier relationships for more than twenty-five years.
We rarely see anything new. We hope to help you see the cause of the discord and give you tools to do whatever needs to be done, from adjusting the timing to overhauling the engine. I recommend it to all couples. Thankfully it is readable enough to move past some of the explanations and get to the meat. In How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich help you pinpoint the reason your marriage is struggling—and they reveal exactly what you can do about it.
Couples and families entering our offices for help come with myriad issues. We are still using the workbook materials for reflection and dialogue together. I give this book four stars for editing, as it could have been more concise. Many people end up thinking their relationship is difficult because they married the wrong person. That type of understanding is essential for the Christian, as they are called to live a life where their actions attempt to put others before themselves, and in doing so they must understand how other people think and behave in order to determine what is really loving, and not just what is comfortable.
The book guides the process of understanding, diagnosing, and responding differently to our imprinted emotions so that we can better love and be loved. Once we can understand how we le One of the most insightful books I have ever read. Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? Often, these hurting people want a quick fix. Are you ready for a new journey of love? I'd still recommend it, but go into it seeking help, not guidance. Milan and his wife Kay are both counselors and have presented this information, which is based on attachment theory, in many workshops before writing it down to share with a wider audience.
Worth a read for anyone, whether or not aware of their own tendencies, in order to understand and learn to prioritize other people in their lives. The content is focused on couples and love between them, but the principles can be applied in any relationship. If you want to strengthen and enrich your marriage, as well as grow personally, I strongly encourage you to read and digest this material. Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? No, this is not the same as the 5 love languages as taught by Dr Gary Chapman. With each page, I felt Milan and Kay had seen my movie! There are times where the author's voice switches back and forth between Kay and Milan and it can be a bit of an adjustment, but I also appreciated the personal experiences shared by both authors. I think I can categorize myself as a vascillator, but more importantly, I've thought back through my life to try to understand where my reactions come from. Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? I would probably rate this one 3.
It is helping us grow. You can probably also describe the ways you avoid dealing with problems, and they may be some of the same lines we hear in our offices every day. How We Love leads the reader through a few basic questions and then some basic, sub-questions and the answers to those questions tells so much! Note: They recommend doing the workbook along with the book, I didn't as I checked out the book from the library. Tired of arguing with your spouse over the same old issues? When a friend was describing its premise to me a few weeks ago I was intrigued. No wonder it felt like we were dancing with four left feet! Everyone they talk about it unable to give or receive comfort. She taught me the importance of our first lessons about love and introduced me to attachment theory.
Reading just the book will give someone a great step forward in understanding and even tiny amounts of application but the workbook is where the application really comes in, or so I am guessing. This book is written by a married couple who are quite frank about their own emotional wounds from their families of origin and how it impacted their ability to give and receive comfort and love in their marriage until they started taking steps to nurture intimacy and comfort. The first part of this book digs deep to explore our own wounds, not to become a victim or place blame, but so that we can understand our own attachment style. Building on attachment theory, this book is about how we, as adults, process our emotions and how that is highly influenced by our childhood environment and example of parent figures. Seriously, this book can change and improve a marriage, or even just, your other relationships. Much misunderstanding could be avoided through the practices they suggest.